BB11 | After Dark Update (7/12)

BB11 | After Dark Update (7/11)

Cool non-spoiler of the day: An in-depth interview with Julie Chen on The Inside Dish.

Spoiler-phobic? Don’t click through to the update.

THE FRIDAY FIVE | Favorite “Disney Afternoon” series

The early ’90s was a much different time for television. With cable and satellite still gaining a foothold, there weren’t nearly as many channels. Broadcast TV was insanely profitable, and in this time before demographics ruled the ratings, kids were an excellent target audience. This business model is how America ended up with nearly a decade of “The Disney Afternoon” block of animated series. Here are my five favorites (completely subjective; feel free to defend your own favorites in the comments).

BB11 | After Dark Update (7/10; season premiere)

Welcome back, Big Brother fans who are too cheap to subscribe to Showtime or the live feeds and too lazy/disinterested to Google Zapruder-style play-by-play on the Internet. Here’s how it works: I present a bulleted list of spell-checked, copy-edited headlines the After Dark producers (in tandem with Grody’s minions) have deemed appropriate for public consumption. I tweak these headlines with bullets of my own containing the real spoilers that ShoToo is lamely attempting to keep under wraps until the primetime shows featuring the actual competitions air Sundays and Tuesdays.

That means everything after the jump is spoileriffic to some degree. So, for example, if you don’t want to know until Sunday who returning houseguest and Athlete HoH Jessie nominated for eviction, don’t click here.

BIG BROTHER 11 | Premiere night

It’s finally here. An eleventh cycle of America’s love/hate summer reality juggernaut kicks off tonight at 8p/7c, with a glowing Chenbot as host. Of course that means a whole new season of Big Brother After Dark, and you can count on The TV Manifesto for a fourth season of After Dark headlines, gossip, and strategizing. Look for the kickoff of that tonight after midnight ET.

This year, I’m also contributing to the coverage at Big Brother Access, which you can count on for a fuller perspective on the show as a new season unfolds. Other good sites for you feed-subscribing (or just spoiler-hunting) folks include We Love Big Brother and Joker’s Updates.

Haters, fear not. Regular summer coverage of things that aren’t BB11 will continue unabated in this space. Except for The Real World. Having failed to make it through even five minutes of last night’s episode, I’m done with that disaster.

NURSE JACKIE | 1×05: “Daffodil”

I can’t believe this show is almost halfway through its season already.

WEEDS | 5×05: “Van Nuys”

Hooray for Allie Grant’s return! “I just like seeing shit break.” Boo for those in-episode popup ads for University of Andy webisodes. Let’s review the point of paying for premium cable, Showtime.

The love you thought you had was dead (”Dead, snuffed out”). The show you thought you loved is back, in fine form, and with a rock star as Nancy’s new obgyn.

After more pot club shenanigans, the Doug-Silas relationship became fully realized as a father-son proxy for both of them. “Orphan father-killer”? Damn. Their embrace and awkward parting was nice, and something neither of them can get from their actual family members anymore.

Ignacio takes Shane and ‘Hodes’ (”Your apartment makes me sad”) to settle up with his pot-jacking teacher, much to Nancy’s dismay. What made Shane think he should shoot the parrot? Birds don’t even have legs, but I guess you wouldn’t be Shane if you weren’t always missing the bear. Leave it to Nancy’s maternal instincts to drag Shane back there with a replacement pet, only to end up choking the teacher with his own bat (”This could be a whole new start for you”).

Where else on TV have we seen the deterioration of a friendship play out so elaborately than between Nancy and Celia, who is now squatting in Nancy’s garage with Sucio’s corpse (”Dead Mexican!”). And the second time this season, someone manages to use a cell phone camera to blackmail a Price sister.

Andy goes all out on his date with Judah’s jilted ex, and in case you weren’t getting or had forgotten that this is both messed up and sad, that Judah is dead and this woman is in a sad state of arrested development, the consummation of their relationship takes place as homeless people vomit and defacate in the background.

But it’s all okay, because he’s doing it in the name of his love for Nancy, and how can that go wrong? “You do it, you do know that?” It’s one of those rare, twice-a-season, Nancy-falling-into-herself moments. We know, now more than ever, that this is not a place she can ever stay for very long. But Andy doesn’t, or wishes he didn’t. And he makes an impassioned plea for her to pack up, run away, and start a new life…leave the mayor behind. “Break his heart in ink. He will understand, if he loves you,” Andy says as he unknowingly writes his own heart’s obituary. Nancy and Shane arrive at Esteban’s doorstep as Andy finds his Dear John letter.

Hooray for Allie Grant’s return! “I just like seeing shit break.” Boo for those in-episode popup ads for University of Andy webisodes. Let’s review the point of paying for premium cable, Showtime.

UPDATED | Episode writer Stephen Falk blogs about his road to tonight’s episode

Alanis Morrisette begins her seven-episode guest arc on Weeds tonight. USA Today has a profile piece on how this came to be. Meanwhile, the Sun-Times interviews Demian Bechir about his role as Mayor Esteban Reyes.

THE FRIDAY FIVE | Standout BB11 contestants

Twelve of the thirteen houseguests (that we know of) for the new season of Big Brother were unveiled this week. With six days until the premiere, here are five I’ll be keeping an eye on.

LOST | A season two virgin

With another season of this sprawling mess under my belt, I am more confident than ever that I will hate watching it week-to-week on TV.