by pat howard

‘House Calls’ highlights: Week 2

In Big Brother, CBS, Gretchen Massey, House Calls, Internet on July 14, 2007 at 3:47 pm

I suffer through the daily trauma of Gretchen Massey’s unpreparedness so you don’t have to. Previously on House Calls: it was terrible.

Here’s what happened this week on House Calls:

On Monday, former houseguest Bunky made lascivious comments about various male contestants while speculating about things that have already happened by now and thus are of no consequence in terms of this recap.

Tuesday, Holly from season 5 was the totally annoying guest host but did tip us off that ‘Evil’ Dick has been in casting at least since her season, which aired three years ago, a full year before the now-two-year-old rift between Dick and Daniele.

Wednesday, a casting director for the show confirmed the rumors about Dick. The casting lady also vehemently defended Nick as an upstanding heterosexual contestant to a caller who asked why his bi-curious storylines from the feeds hadn’t made the primetime cut (my guess: when Nick starts macking on some guy in the house, we’ll see it on the CBS show). Meanwhile, we all had a hearty chuckle at Gretchen’s prank caller, who asked if he could lick whipped cream off her pussy.

Thursday‘s guest was Kaysar, who apparently became America’s sweetheart after season six (or, as Chill Town liked to call it, SeaSick) and returned last summer for the All-Star season. After Gretchen called Kaysar a strategy genius and reminded us he’s the only person ever to be voted out three times, a heckler called to torment Kaysar, saying among other things that he and Marcellas were two of the worst players in the show’s history.

And Gretchen’s special friend called again to inquire after her lady parts. Gretchen cut him off before he said any offending words, though, and then delivered a weird missive to her strange secret admirer that was deleted from the archived show on You can check out the video of the second prank call here on YouTube; I can’t seem to track down original footage of the first call.

On Friday‘s show, the first evictee, Carol, stopped by to fill Gretchen in on things she could’ve figured out by a) paying attention; b) making an educated guess; or c) watching The Early Show. Of course Carol knew she was getting the boot — “I don’t know how anybody else could not see that,” she said in what I’m taking as a dig at Gretchen.

Carol expounded on the fact that her “feud” with Jessica was mostly one-sided on Jessica’s part, since they had their falling-out in 8th grade and Carol assumed Jessica would’ve grown up a little by now. Carol said she learned a lot about the gay community from Joe while she was in the house. Carol, of course, knows that Jen was the lone vote for her to stay in the house.

In the show’s new Time Capsule segment, Carol was presented with a video she taped for herself prior to entering the house. In a clip, Carol from the Past hoped that Carol Now hadn’t compromised her values while in the house. Maybe it’s that Carol’s such an upstanding person, but this Time Capsule thing seems like a bust.

Carol admitted that she gave up on the game. Her biggest disappointment is that she gave up her spot on the Kansas City Chiefs cheerleading squad to do Big Brother. In the final moments of the show, she admitted her animosity toward Jessica: “I gave her a second chance and I won’t give her a third.”

A few things I’ve noticed over the course of the week:

  • The show often runs longer than 30 minutes; Friday’s show passed the 40-minute mark. I guess time is no object when you’re an Internet talk show.
  • House Calls seems to have a heavy volume of callers from the Carolinas.
  • Gretchen Massey still can’t seem to keep the contestants straight at all; having been in the house, Carol was at least able to correct her, unlike some of Calls‘ other special guests.

The “fun” continues next week on House Calls.


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