by pat howard

WEEDS | 5×13: “All About My Mom”

In Weeds on September 1, 2009 at 10:19 am

weeds_logoThis is a lovely way to spend an evening.

Previously on Weeds: Shane slowly went gangsta; CeCe slowly turned into early-seasons Nancy; Andy quickly wooed Alanis Morrissette; Nancy ordered a hit on Pilar, who had Esteban arrested and then absconded with him; the supporting cast was also there rearranging some plotless deck chairs. It felt like a better time than season four.

“The boss” has sent Nancy a masseuse…we’re supposed to be duped into thinking it’s a gift from her husband, but of course the boss is really Pilar. There is some conversation about meat puppets and whether men or women are weaker. People call Nancy a warrior some times in this episode.

CeCe is holed up in a unit at Neverending Storage (heh), drinking Stoli screwdrivers from concentrate. Doug arrives to play out the ruse, but manages to blow everyone’s cover, so the “let’s get Celia” jig is up. She decides to tie him up while she formulates a plan; he advises her to put together a team, just like Nancy did once upon a time. CeCe’s team consists of Doug (finance), Dean (legal), Sanjay (sales), Ignacio/Perro Insano (supply/muscle), and Isabel (brains). How long til the writers room gets bored with this whole enterprise and clunkily disbands it? Something to look forward to in season six.

Nancy is making some formula for the baby, because of all her recent stress drinking. She explains to Shane that she is failing another one of her children. Shane continues to be disaffected or shellshocked or whatever. Silas shows up. Nancy is slowly losing it, or something. It’s awkward.

Adelita literally calls Silas up to her room via cell, to ask him to bring her her laptop so she can Google why half her body is numb. This may have something to do with her being a heroin junkie, apparently, which Esteban will go on not to believe. Silas’ strategy is to call Audra, who is busy inspecting the minivan Andy bought for them after selling the General Lee and some arcade games. You know, because he’s finally supposedly growing up. Remember that arc we’ve built so hard this season? The reason there was so much heft in some of these episodes?

Pilar is having a fundraiser for Esteban’s campaign. She is also a huge bitch to Nancy, as usual, telling her to put in an appearance at the event and then get lost. Esteban says he had no choice but to follow Pilar around on a leash, unless he wanted to spend the rest of his (possibly very short) life in Mexican prison. He has some kind of mini-breakdown when he gets close to Nancy and smells that she’s wearing his deodorant. Some people might find this romantic, but it has made Esteban snap. Nancy calls Guillermo and tells him Pilar needs to be dead tonight.

“I can’t rely on men. … It just means I adjusted my expectations,” Nancy tells Andy while Audra is on junkie duty upstairs. “We’re like an O Henry story,” he suggests. “No. We’re our own fucked up little story,” Nancy counters. Amen to that. Esteban shows up to be a dick some more and then be crippled with guilt about his daughter’s secret drug addiction. Back at Bubbie’s, Audra has accepted Andy’s proposal. But Gale is there with a crossbow, so Andy runs away, maybe not having grown so much after all.

At the fundraiser, Shane pounds the booze some more, Silas points out that Nancy’s number is due to be up, and Cesar tells Nancy to get used to being a photo op. Pilar walks Nancy out to the pool to confront her about that contract killing she arranged. She’s all, never hire a tiger to do a duck’s job, especially a tiger who’s on her payroll. Then she points out that the campaign has no use for Silas and Shane, and just think how much sympathy they’d get if her kids were killed in a tragic accident. Almost out of nowhere, Shane takes the bitch out with a croquet mallet. Because you can’t miss the bear. “I couldn’t find a golf club,” he says, and we swing our way out of season five.

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